just wna thank God for His blessings in cts so far..

B for chem, though it was a low B, there werent many As around, so im thankful for that

and A for french, which was the only french paper i felt terrible after laying down the pen when the time was up..

just hope bio and math would be okay..

in any case, i thank God for the  moon today! it was really round and i stared at it so much in the morning.. it made my day

today was really a joyful day! Lord sustain my joy!

really the joy of the Lord is my strength.. never been so productive on tues afternoon before french (: (: (:

 ”Cast your burden on the LORD, and He shall sustain you; he shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22

hmmm i really dont  and remember doing disc before.. haha anw i just did it, and apparently im dIsC.. C is 6 I is 5!

so CI: assessor/reviewer/one who reveals value

-observant of details as well as unique value of people

-combine a concern for particulars with an awareness and appreciation for people needed to accomplish tasks; this tends to lead to open channels of communication

-express enthusiasm and optimism for accomplishing tasks and can be an encouraging influence to others if factors required to achieve goal are thoroughly assessed.. encouragement will also be directed to the task at hand

-excellent judges of character

-will easily trust those who meet their standards

-can be counted on to do a good job, value their associates and pay attention to details

-tend to be competitive with themselves, and push themselves to do better to avoid any rejection or criticism

-have unique teaching gift (???????????)

its quite funny.. they said apparently C and I are opposites haha okay weird..

anw rach is very tired and a bit haiya worried..

man i never thought triangles would be that complicated..

birthday??

who the — gets upset and cries and gets frustrated on her 18th birthday?

 first and foremost, the fact that cts are starting in 2 days doesnt appeal to anyone.. + withdrawal symptoms and anger and shame and hopelessness that comes from a 1-sided (as i can see it now) crush.. + mood swings that make no sense, limiting my ability to study and concentrate + piling work unstudied + mummy’s hurtful and spiteful remarks about me like wth..

 saying i only care about $ and have no regard for family, and that i treasure friends more and cant even stay at home to study all the time (when i only went out thrice in 10 days to study in school) .. like wth.. she keeps saying things like “birthday, i cant even be bothered to celebrate.. she only wants to celebrate with her friends. give her angpow or make her new specs (any amount)”

 WTH am i that money minded????

am i that unfilial?

obviously not right..

ahh forget it.. she can say whatever she wants already.. i better learn to not let it have any effect on me.. i will just continue my own life..

today i was quite down.. i just felt like hiding in a hole, retreating from the world, staying a bachelorette or sth.. and just forgetting about him and living my life.

 kept seeing ants around so i got sick and went to check up ants in the online bible thingy

 proverbs 30:25

“ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up food in the summer”

jasmine green tea on my table, pile of white bio notes, freshly printed on the other side, comp in the middle, driving me crazy

words words words words no actions

 rarr.

i miss him, unfortunately. does and doesnt make sense.

stupid la. i just went into a retreating mode and what not. he was really quiet too, typical.

doesnt make sense. why am i feeling this way.

its stupid. i should be focused on God and on my work.

 alright..

emotions are just emotions.

facts, logic.

should sing more songs.

Dear Lord,

i love you,

i need you

though my world may fall i’ll never let you go

my Saviour

my closest friend

i will worship you until the very end

and i love you Lord

you rescued me

you are all that i want

you’re all i neeed

holy is the Lord,

God almighty

the earth is filled with His glory

Holy is the Lord

God almighty

the earth is filled with His glory

number one in my heart. better be.